Where Do I Go From Here?

Hey everyone. I apologize for not posting for a while. I needed a break to swallow everything.

Most of you don't know this, and it was just confirmed today, that the Immigration Law that passed in Beaufort is now in effect and is the same law that Georgia and Arizona has. If you look illegal, or the officer suspects you are illegal, they can pull you over, and if you do not have valid identification, they will deport you. As I mentioned in my first post, we have started my husband's paperwork but because we do not meet the income requirements, we cannot continue that paperwork at this time. I am not sure how this new state law effects his paperwork so I honestly don't know if that is still an option. I am at a loss for words right now. I feel betrayed. But who is the person that has made me feel this way? Can I blame it on any one person? Is blaming someone the right answer? I feel like I have no options. I could move. I know people in other states. I could drop out of college, and just go. But to me that's running away. If we were to move, it's only a matter of time before the state we move to gets the same or similar law. Even if I could, I would not run away from this. I am bigger than this. At least I hope I am.

I know a few people that are going through this or have gone through this and even they can't give me an answer as to what to do. There is no comfort. I keep trying to reach out to people and I find I am reaching to people who have no idea what I am going through. They have no clue. They can read this and think they understand, but it's just the words on a screen. There is emotion and feeling to everything I am writing. I struggle to finish my written sentences. God has answers, but my flesh is fighting so hard. I find myself being double minded and praying for strength with little hope that I will be strong. I used to believe there was a light at the end of the tunnel and the tunnel started and ended in the United States. But maybe my tunnel leads to moving to a different country. I don't know. All I know is that when my husband told me he had dreams of getting a drivers license, owning a home, a truck, starting a business I told him that it would all come true. But now, how can I be sure? My dream right now is to have a husband by my side, not having to live in fear and being able to raise my family FREE. Will that ever happen? I don't know, but hey, a girl can dream right?

Please keep me and the whole Spanish community in your prayers. It's devastating to have to worry about your own family, but it's also hard to drive by a car pulled over, friends in handcuffs, and knowing their fate. It may sound melodramatic, but in some cases, it is a life and death situation.

Much Love,
-h